To re-cap, in November 2008 we had the cells from 15 blasts sent for CGH analysis. There were 8 that came back abnormal and 7 with no results. The 7 NR embryos were biopsied again and sent for FISH testing (13, 15, & 21). Only 1 came back normal. We didn't have any abnormalities with 21, but I wanted it screened anyway. The embryos that came back abnormal had something wrong with either 13, 15, or both.
So we have in the freezer three frozen blasts normal for chromosomes 13 & 15 and two no results (even after 2 different biopsies). The first normal blast is from the July 2006 IVF/ICSI/PGD-FISH cycle here in Pensacola. It's been through a lot, so we're not sure if it will survive the thaw. It went through its first biopsy (FISH 13, 18, 21, & sex chromosomes) on Day 3 here in Pensacola. Then it was grown to the blast stage and frozen the old-fashioned way (slow freezing process where the embryologist had to draw out fluid before freezing). The Pensacola RE didn't screen for chromosome 15, so we couldn't trust the FISH results, as we know that there is a known genetic issue with both 13 & 15. After almost 2 years in storage at the Pensacola RE's clinic, it was FedEx'ed to CCRM in a nitrogen container. Then it was thawed, re-biopsied (for FISH analysis #2 - 13 & 15), and re-frozen (via vitrification). So that blast is normal for 13, 15, 18, 21, and sex chromosomes. The second normal (FISH 13 & 15 only) blast is from the July 2008 IVF/ICSI/PGD-FISH cycle at CCRM. It only went through one biopsy (Day 3) and then vitrified on Day 5. Our third normal (for 13, 15, & 21) blast is from our latest cycle - the November 2008 IVF/ICSI/CGH/PGD-FISH cycle. It went through its first biopsy (Day 5 trophectoderm biopsy) for CGH (no result), vitrified, thawed, second trophectoderm biopsy (for FISH 13, 15, & 21), and then re-vitrified.
After 3 IVFs, we have 3 'normal' and 2 'no results' frozen blasts. I am saddened that after all we've gone through ... 3 IVFs (PGD-FISH & CGH), 3 FETs, ~190 injections, 1 8-day hospitalization (due to OHSS), 1 HSG, 2 hysteroscopies, 1 endometrial biopsy, 2 DNA karyotypes, Cystic Fibrosis screening, Fragile X screening, 1 transrectal ultrasound (DH is a trooper), ~35 dates with the dildo-cam, countless blood tests, 87 eggs retrieved, 69 mature eggs, 63 embryos that were created... now we have only 5 to work with. I am sure that we will be punished for that one day when we have "the talk" with God. But I am so desperate right now to have our genetic child(ren) that I am willing to risk extra time in purification in Purgatory or even going to Hell.
11 comments:
Oh man. I'm sorry you've been through so much. And I don't think God is punishing. You haven't done anything wrong!
But what I'm reading is: you have a few normal blasts to transfer, right? And any one of those could become your baby? I will hope hope hope this is the case! Sending you big hugs.
I'm am so sorry for the humungo disappointment in only getting 1 normal blast out of 15. I guess you now have your answer that it was best to do FISH on your NRs. You've been though heck that's for sure. Hoping and praying like crazy that these are your take home bio children! Big Hugs!
You really have been through the ringer. It's amazing how much you have had to go through. I know you're feeling negative about the results and getting one normal is not what you expected. I can't help but feel hopeful for you though because your little guys/gals have been through the most thorough testing out there and you have at least 3 normals - it's a possibility that one of those embryos will take. It's hard to be hopeful when you've had so much disappointment because it's such a risk. So, even if you don't feel hopeful, we all are hoping and wishing the best for you :).
Holy cow. You have had 63 embryos and only 3 are normal? No wonder you haven't been getting pregnant (perhaps now RE's will be able to better explain to the infertile community why it's so hard for some people!)
I just can't believe that!
But I am so glad you have three. So, when will you do the transfer? No pressure, huh?
Will you put the "no results" back? or just the three normals?
I can't even imagine being in your shoes. I'm sorry for all that you've been through - what a nightmare.
Hey Linda-I'm sorry you didn't get more normals back from the FISH testing. But, the good news is you have some normals to work with-that's great! Hopefully 1 (or more) of those 3 normals can become your little one(s) very soon. Hugs and good luck.
Just read your update--hang in there. I'm going to link this post to my board and see if anyone has gone through something similar that might be able to offer a voice of experience.
Saying a little prayer for you!
Onemuse told me about your story - and hon, it is heartbreaking. First, God is not going to punish you for trying to have a baby. You've gone miles and miles to do this and you so deserve it. Second, there might be some hope with the healthy/normal blasts. Don't give it up just yet. Third, I have to ask - are you 100% wedded to the idea of genetic children? As a mother of two children through donor eggs, I don't 'feel' as if they are not my children. They are mine, one hundred percent. If God came down right now and told me he would give me my own children through my own eggs but I would have to give up my two boys - I would say no in a heart beat. No, thank you sir. I love my boys with my heart and soul. And your children grow in your heart and soul first before anywhere else. It is obvious to me, an outsider, your children are just waiting for you to figure out a way. Hugs to you.
Linda
You have been through so much. Hang in there.
Awww, ladies. I have tears in my eyes from all of your posts. Ya'll are the best and sure know how to make me feel not so alone. Thank you so much for your heartfelt posts, and I truly hope the best for each and everyone of you.
Linda - I'm a little late to chime in but I wanted to tell you that I'm so sorry for everything too. It's not fair and you've been through so much and if successful IVF outcomes were based on level of pain endured, you would definitely have your baby by now. Hang in there and I am thinking about you. NGHA! BIG VIRTUAL HUG sent your way.
Linda- I am so sorry for all that you have been through. I really believe that God helped humans develop IF/IVF treatments so that we can cotinue to procreate, just as He desires. I really don't think that you will go to Hell. IF is a medical condition and IVF is treatment for a medical condition. Hang in there sweetie!
Kris
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