Last night, knowing that I will start my shots, Jerry and I watched a video on how to give the different medications that I will be taking. Even though we've done this before, we just wanted to make sure and are afraid to mess up. After all, it's been almost exactly two years since our last IVF. As we were watching the video, I started to stress out. I remembered how I reacted to the fertility meds the first time around. I don't want a repeat of that. But then I had in my mind that this new clinic that we're going to is a million times better than the one here in town. I will be monitored more closely - so closely that I will be having ultrasounds and bloodwork every day that we're in Denver.
This morning, when I woke up, I was getting things ready for my shot. I wiped the countertop down with alcohol. Then I got out the two vials of meds: Menopur powder in one vial and a saline solution in the other vial. I flicked off the metal tops of the vials, revealing a rubber top. Then I wiped the rubber tops with the alcohol swabs. As I waited for the alcohol to dry, I opened the syringe with the 1.5 inch mixing needle. I took off the cap of the needle and stuck it through the center of the rubber top of the saline solution. I withdrew 1 cc of the saline solution and transferred it to the Menopur vial. The powder dissolved instantly. Then I turned the bottle upside down and withdrew all the solution into the syringe. Then I put the cap back on the needle and twisted it off. I then put the 0.5 inch 27 guage needle on the syringe. I flicked the air bubbles until they rose to the top and gently pushed the plunger until I got all the air bubbles out and saw a drop at the tip of the needle. Then I recapped the needle and set it on the countertop. And I assumed the position (I laid on my back our leather ottoman).
This is where Jerry comes in. Jerry wipes down a small area on my belly, near the belly button. Today, he chose the right side of my stomach to give the shot. After he wiped my skin, he fanned it dry. Then he pinched my skin (trust me, he didn't have trouble finding enough fat to pinch) and tapped it several times to find just the right spot. I find that it is less painful if the skin is a bit firmer when the needle is going in. Anyway, he found the spot where he's going to inject the medicine and he said he's sorry and that he loves me and OUCH! It hurt going in and it burned as the medicine was being injected and it still burned for a couple of minutes afterward.
I could tell that Jerry felt really bad for hurting me. After he gave me the shot, he asked me if I still love him. Of course I do! What a silly question. I guess he just feels really bad that I am having to go through IVF again. He freaked out last week while we were driving back home from his brother Tim's house and talked about canceling the IVF. I know how bad he feels and it just breaks my heart knowing that he is feeling all this guilt. I know it's not his fault that he has a genetic disorder that prevents him to have children the "regular" way. Ever since we found out about the Robertsonian Translocation, he's been wanting to find out how he got it. I don't blame him; I would want to know, too. However, the genetic counselor told us that there is no way of knowing without testing his siblings and/or his parents. So for now, we just don't know; and it looks like we will never know. I'm just hoping and praying that he gets closure to this issue when we have our baby in our arms.
Tonight, I get my Follistim injection. Jerry said that he remembers how to assemble the cartridge, so we'll see. At least I don't have to do any mixing. It's all prepared in the vial, and all Jerry has to do is to assemble the "pen" and that's it. For the subsequent injections, all he has to do is to change the needle.
Tomorrow, after I get my Menopur injection, we leave for Dallas. I'm not really sure how long it'll take to get there, as every time we mapquest it, we get a different number of hours travel time. I'm just hoping that we make it in time for me to get the evening injection. Otherwise, Jerry will have to give me the injection in a rest area or parking lot somewhere. Yikes!
I'm going to miss my cats so much. I know they'll be in good, capable hands. Special thanks to Carol and Jimmy and Jamie for taking care of our cats and house! And many thanks to everyone who's praying for us! God bless you!
Done, and Yet, Not Done
6 months ago